The Rules of Making Friends

[mysteriouza]

Get Over It

Old friends are to be cherished but, as years go by, you can find yourself out of step with them.Rather than agonising about why a friend who moved away never calls,focus energy on finding new people to add to the mix.Those who are able to shrug it off were better of.


Take It Slowly

The desire for friendship comes quickly,friendship does not.Fast in, fast out.Quick infatuations can go horribly wrong.new friends often seem so great simply because we haven't yet come to points of conflict.One reason schoolgirl relationships can be volatile,because girls idealize a friendship, and then can't cope when problems emerge.If a friendship is to last, we have to learn how to disagree and even argue.


Don't Be Too Blue

People often find new friends when they are going through a crisis,- a separation,job loss or bereavement.But beware, when you are in a trough and acting needy, you risk attracting people who feel the same way, and with them it might be a permanent condition.Worse, you may draw in people who like you best when you're down or risk making friends feel used,which could drive them away.


Keep Something Back

Disclosure is the root of great friendship,but too much soon can frighten off potential good buddies.The risk is that a quick disclosure might be confused when the trust that only good friends share.So save those late night drunken tears for your oldest mates.


Give and Take

Are doing all the running, or does our new friend call you too?Have you had problems in the past with being bossed around or being too selfish?Patterns get set early,so shake things up.Friendship is a two-way process.When you are trying to shape a new one, ask yourself:, "can I change the meeting time or suggest an agenda for an outing"?Do I always say "I don't mind" or "it's up to you"?


Be Open To New Sorts Of People

Your oldest friends are often very like you- same background,same age,same style, - but as you mature, you can value friends who are decades older (or younger) or living a totally different life.If you get a good feeling about someone outside your social circle,take a chance and ask them out for a drink.Making friends with someone who are unlike you can be surprisingly rewarding.A friendship of opposite will help you to flourish.