rAnd0m st0rI3s, q0ut3s 'n 3tc...

[shawty24]

[glow=red,2,300]REAL
FRIEND
TEST!!!
This
is GOOD...
A
simple
friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A
real
friend
opens your refrigerator and helps himself.


A
simple
friend has never seen you cry. A real
friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.


A
simple
friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A
real
friend
has their phone numbers in his address book.


A
simple
friend brings a bottle of wine to your party. A
real
friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.


A
simple
friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed. A
real
friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A
simple
friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A
real
friend seeks to help you with your problems.


A
simple
friend wonders about your romantic history.
A
real friend
could blackmail you with it.


A
simple
friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A
real
friend
calls you after you had a fight.

A
simple
friend expects you to always be there for them. A
real friend expects to
always be there for you![/glow]
:74:

[shawty24]

[glow=red,2,300]30 Things Guys Should Know About Girls
Written by a guy. After years of experience.



1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house... they run around in their underwear just like we do.



2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they will find out and you will be mud.



3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the hat.



4 NEVER miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful.

[don't overdo it]


5. DON'T refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous.



6. If they slap you hard, you DESERVED it.



7. DON'T be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms.



8. If you DON'T sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

8.5 If you DO sleep with them, DON'T tell your friends that you did.



9. You CAN be dirty minded in private, really... most of them are not offended by it.



10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

fatty nation!


11. Most of them DON'T mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a prick.

11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!



12. Every girl should eventually get THREE THINGS from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship.
hmmmm how about a necklace? i only have 10 fingers... muahaha



13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely.



14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the crap out of him.



15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.



16. NEVER , ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back.



17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. she DOESN'T care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.



18. You're dead meat if you CAN'T get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be PRINCE CHARMING to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.



19. DON'T flirt with their moms... that's just freaky.



20. DON'T be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like crap, so be UNDERSTANDING.



21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it.



22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better introduce her as your girlfriend.



23. DON'T stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you.



24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.
ummm i dono.. haha



25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very GENTLE .



26. Memorize their freakin birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life.



27. DON'T marinade in cologne, but smell good.



28. DON'T give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice.

[aqua teen is never stupid. be creative]


29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.



30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.[/glow]

:31: 

[shawty24]

[glow=red,2,300]25 Beautiful One-liners

1.  Give God what's right-not what's left.
2.  Man's way leads to a hopeless end ... God's way leads to an endless
      hope.
3.  A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
4.  He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
5.  In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma-but never let him be
      the period.
6.  Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
7.  Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a face-lift.
8.  When praying, don't give God instructions - just report for duty.
9.  Don't wait for six strong men to take you to church.
10. We don't change God's message-His message changes us.
11. The church is prayer-conditioned.
12. When God ordains, He sustains.
13. WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
14. Plan ahead-It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
15. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.
16. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Scriptures...
17. Exercise daily-walk with the Lord.
18. Never give the devil a ride-he will always want to drive.
19. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.
20. Compassion is difficult to give away because it keeps coming back.
21. He who angers you controls you.
22. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.
22. Give Satan an inch & he'll be a ruler.
24. Be ye fishers of men-you catch them & He'll clean them.
25. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.[/glow]

:iou:

[shawty24]

[glow=yellow,2,300]TANDANG TANDA NAMIN NI KUYA ANG SAYA AT LUMBAY SA PODER NILA INAY AT ITAY...LALO NA ANG MGA MAGAGANDANG ARAL NA NATUTUNAN NAMIN SA KANILA!

1. Si Inay, tinuruan niya ako ng HOW TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"Kung kayong dalawa ay magpapatayan, doon kayo sa labas. Mga punyeta kayo, kalilinis ko lang ng bahay."

2. Natuto ako ng RELIGION kay Itay.
"Kapag yang mantsa di natanggal sa carpet, magdasal ka na!"

3. Si Itay, tinuruan niya kami ni Kuya kung anong ibig sabihin ng TIME TRAVEL.
"Kung di kayo tumigil ng pagngangawa diyan, tatadyakan ko kayo ng todo hanggang umabot kayo sa isang linggo!"

4. Kay Inay ako natuto ng LOGIC.
"Kaya ganyan, dahil sinabi ko."

5. Kay Inay din ako natuto ng MORE LOGIC.
"Kapag ikaw ay nalaglag diyan sa bubong, ako lang magisa ang manonood ng sine."

6. Kay Itay naman natuto ng FORESIGHT si Kuya.
"Siguraduhin mo na lagi kang mag susuot ng malinis na brief, para pag nakascore ka sa syota mo e di kahihiyahiya."

7. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa akin kung ano ang ibig sahibin ng IRONY.
"Sige ngumalngal ka, kung di bibigyan talaga kita ng iiyakan mo!"

8. Kay Inay ako natuto ng science of OSMOSIS.
"Punyeta, itigil mo ang kadadakdak at tapusin mong kainin ang inihanda kong hapunan para sa iyo."

9. Si Inay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung ano ang CONTORTIONISM.
"Tignan mo nga yan! dumi sa likod ng leeg mo, tignan mo?!?"

10. Si Itay ang nagpaliwanag sa akin kung anong ibig sabihin ng STAMINA.
"Wag kang tatayo diyan hangga't di mo natatapos kainin lahat yan gulay mo!"

11. At si Inay ang nagturo sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng WEATHER.
"Alangya, ano ba itong kuwarto nyong magkapatid, parang dinaanan ng bagyo!"

12. CIRCLE OF LIFE, ang paliwanag sa akin ni Inay ay ganito:
"Malandi kang bata ka, iniluwal kita sa mundong ito, maari rin kitang alisin sa mundong ito."

13. Kay Itay ako natuto kung ano ang BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Tatadyakan kita diyan, huwag ka ngang maguumarte diyan ng parang Nanay mo!"

14. Si Inay naman ang nagpaliwanag sa amin kung anong ibig sabihin ng ENVY.
"Maraming mga batang ulila sa magulang, di ba kayo nagpapasalamat at mayroon kayong magulang na tulad namin?."

15. Si Itay naman ang nagturo sa akin ng ANTICIPATION.
"Tangna kang bata ka, hintayin mong makarating tayo sa bahay...."!

16. At si Itay pa rin ang nagturo kay Kuya kung ano ibig sabihin ng RECEIVING.
"Uupakan kita pagdating natin sa bahay....!"

17. Si Inay naman ang nagturo sa aking kung ano ang HUMOR.
"Kapag naputol yang mga paa mo ng pinaglalaruan mong lawn mover, wag na wag kang tatakbo sa akin at lulumpohin kita!"

18. Kay Itay naman natuto si Kuya ng HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"Kung di ka matutong magbati, eh di ka nga tatangkad."

19. Si Inay ang nagturo sa akin kung anong ibig sabihin ng GENETICS.
"Nagmana ka nga talaga sa ama mong walanghiya."

20. Kay Inay din ako natuto ng WISDOM.
"Pag umabot ka na ng edad ko, saka mo pa lang maiintindihan ang lahat."

21. At ang paborito ko sa lahat na natutunan ko kay Inay at Itay ay kung ano ang JUSTICE.
"Isang araw magkakaroon ka rin ng anak, panalangin namin na sana'y matulad sila sa yo... haliparot!"[/glow]

[shawty24]

[glow=yellow,2,300]By Choice or By Chance???


When we meet the right person to love, at the
right place, at the right time...That's chance.

When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's
not a choice...That's chance.


Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of
couples who get together because of this) is not
a choice, that's also chance.

The difference is, what happens afterwards?

When will you take that infatuation, that crush,
that mind-blowing attraction to the next level?

That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down
and then contemplate whether you want to make
this into a concrete relationship or just a
fling.
If you decide to love the person, even with his
faults, that's not chance...That's choice.

When you choose to be with a person no matter
what, that's choice.

Even if you know there are many people out there
who are more attractive,smarter, and richer than
your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate
just the same, that's choice.\

Infatuation, crushes, attractions come to us by
chance.

But true loves that last are choices made.

Regarding soulmates, there's a beautiful movie
quote that I believe is so true about this--
"Fate brings you together, but it's still up to
you to make it happen." I do believe that
soulmates do exist. That there is truly someone
made for you.
But it's still up to you to make the choice if
you're going to do something about it or not.
We may meet people by chance, but loving and
staying with them is still a choice we have to
make.

"there's magic in believing..."

" . . . do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow
will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

After all, today is the tomorrow you worried
about yesterday. "[/glow]

[shawty24]

[glow=yellow,2,300]15 Things You Probably
Never Knew or Thought About


1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.


2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.


3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.


4....... A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.


5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.


6. You mean the world to someone.


7. If not for you, someone may not be living.


8. You are special and unique.


9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.


10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.


11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.


12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.


13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.


14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.


15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.


A Minute



They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.[/glow]

[shawty24]

INTERESTING  CONVERSATION

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem
science has with God, The Almighty.

He asks one of his new Christian students to stand and.....

Professor:  You are a Christian, aren't you, son?

Student:  Yes, sir.

Prof:  So you believe in God?

Student:  Absolutely, sir.

Prof:  Is God good?

Student:  Sure.

Prof:  Is God  all-powerful?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal
him.
Most of us would attempt to  help others who are ill. But God didn't.
How
is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof:  You can't answer, can  you? Let's start again, young fella. Is
God
good?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  Is Satan good?

Student:  No.

Prof:  Where does Satan come from?

Student:  From...God...

Prof:  That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything.
Correct?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  So who created evil?

(Student does not answer.)

Prof:  Is there sickness?  Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these
terrible
things exist in the world, don't they?

Student:  Yes, sir.

Prof:  So, who created  them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof:  Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe
the
world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student:  No, sir.

Prof:  Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student:  No, sir.

Prof:  Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smell your God?
Have
you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student:  No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof:  Yet you still believe in Him?

Student:  Yes.

Prof:  According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science
says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student:  Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof:  Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student:  Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof:  Yes.

Student:  And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof:  Yes.

Student:  No sir. There isn't.

(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student:  Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, super heat,
mega
heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have  anything
called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we
can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold
is
only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure
cold.
Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence
of
it.

(There is pin-drop  silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:  What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
darkness?

Prof:  Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student:  You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of
something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing
light....But
if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called
darkness,
isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to
make
darkness darker, wouldn't  you?

Prof:  So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student:  Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof:  Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student:  Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue
that
there is life and then there is death, a  good God and a bad God. You
are
viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can
measure.
Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and
magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To
view death as the opposite of life, is to be ignorant of the fact that
death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of
life; just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your
students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof:  If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes,
of
course, I do.

Student:  Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where
the
argument is going.)

Student:  Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at
work
and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor,  are
you
not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class is in uproar.)

Student:  Is there anyone in  the class who has ever seen the
Professor's
brain?

(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student:  Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's
brain,
felt it, touched or smell it?.....No one appears to have done so. So,
according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable
protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due
respect,
sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face
unfathomable.)

Prof: I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student: That is it sir.. The link between man & God is FAITH. That is
all
that keeps things moving and alive.

[shawty24]

Para sa mga Inlove at Maiinlove palang....








friends.....basahin mabuti ha!!!!!!!!!

good morning po...........


Subject: PARA SA MGA INLOVE AT MAIINLOVE PA LANG .....


>      .....
>
> PARA SA MGA INLOVE AT MAIINLOVE PA LANG
>
> ang love ay hindi minamadali...
> hindi pinipilit..
> at lalong hindi kina-career...
>
>
> unang-una...
>
> PAANO MO BA NASABING MAHAL MO NA
> SIYA???...
>
> dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???...
> o kaya naman naaaliw ka???...
> naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya??
> ?...
> kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???...
> at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses
> niya???...
>
> eh teka muna...
> baka naman infatuated ka lang....
> o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo...
> BAKA naaaliw ka lang...
> dahil kakaiba siya...
> may spark na hindi mo maintindihan...
>
> tsk!!!...
> ang saklap nyan!...
>
>
> pangalawa...
>
> GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA???...
>
> madali ba siyang mapikon???...
> pano ba siya mabadtrip???...
> madali bang mahalata na may topak siya???.
> ..
> ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???...
> shorts ba o pantalon???...
> nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???...
> matagal ba siyang maligo???....
> kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???...
> tamad ba siya???...
> mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa
> magbasa ng
> libro???...
> nagpe-play station ba siya???...
> tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki???...
> makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???..
> .
> green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???..
> .
> sa village ba siya nakatira???...
> may sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa
> kanila???...
> nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???...
> kasama ba yung pamilya niya???...
> at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???...
>
> in short...
> alam mo na nga ba???...
> ang mga bagay-bagay...
> ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...
> na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya...
> as in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...
>
>
> pangatlo...
>
> KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN???...
>
> as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo...
>
> sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay...
> sa lahat ng katopakan niya...
> sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya...
> sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at
> gagawin
> pa lang niya...
> sa lahat ng naiisip niya...
> sa lahat ng sasabihin niya...
> sa kilos niya...
> sa pananamit pa pala niya...
> sa pagsasalita...
> sa pananaw niya sa buhay...
> sa pagtrato niya sa tao...
> sa lifestyle niya...
> sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya...
> sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya...
> sa style niya pagdating sa love...
> sa kasweetan niyang natural...
> sa paglalambing niya...
> sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas...
> sa manners niya...
> sa bisyo niya kung meron man...
> sa mga pang-aasar niya sayo...
> sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng
> problema...
> sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...
>
>
> pang-apat...
>
> KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO???...
>
> kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo...
> na kasama pa rin siya ha...
> sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh...
> mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...
> nang dahil din sa kanya???...
>
> kaya mo bang magmukhang tanga...
> as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan...
> ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo...
> kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...
> as in kahit sa harapan niya???...
>
> kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama
> mo
> siya???...
> yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakielam...
> mawala man ang manners mo...
> na wala ka naman talaga...
>
> in short...
>
> KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG
> KASAMA MO NA SIYA???...
>
> yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung
> sino
> ka
> talaga...
>
> dahil alam mong...
>
>
> HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP...
>
> TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA...
>
> BUONG-BUO RIN...
>
>
> MGA TAO!!!...
> tama na kasi ang trip...
> tama na ang pagmamadali...
> oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao...
> pero diba mas masarap yun...
>
> LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG TOTOO YUNG
> NARARAMDAMAN MO...AT PAG MAHAL KA NG
> MAHAL MO!!!!!

[shawty24]

[glow=orange,2,300]Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who
calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay
awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who
kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the
world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand
in front of his friends, Wait for the one who is
constantly reminding you of how much he cares about
you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one
who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."[/glow]

[shawty24]

Test for Dementia 


Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? 



Let's find out just how clever you really are. 




Ready?  GO!!!





First  Question: 

You  are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? 







Answer:  If  you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are now second! 








Try not to screw up in the next question. 
Don't take as much time as you took for the first question. 



Second Question: 

If you overtake the last person, then you are...? 










Answer:  If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again.  It's impossible to overtake the LAST person.. that would be overtaking yourself. 


You're not very good at this!  Are you?


Third  Question: 

Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only.  No cheating!



Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30 Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the  total? 










Did you get 5000? 


The correct answer is actually 4100. 

Don't  believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your  day. Maybe you will get the last question right? 



Fourth  Question: 


Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.


What is the name of the fifth daughter?












Answer:  Nunu?     

NO!  Of course not.
Her name is Mary.  Read the question again 



Okay, now the bonus round: 

There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. 

Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express what he wants? 















He just has to open his mouth and ask.  Duh..
     

KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!