ang pinoy nga naman!!! at si lola

[jhared]

This is a Filipino making a long distance phone call....

Operator: AT&T, How may I help you?
Pinoy: Heyloow. Ay wud like to long distans da Pilipins, plis.

Operator: Name of the party you're calling?
Pinoy: Aybegurpardon? Can you repit agen plis?

Operator: What is the name of the person you are calling?
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenchu and sori. Da name of my calling is Elpidio Abanquel.
Sori and tenchu.

Operator: Please spell out the name of the person you're calling phonetically.
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. What is foneticali?
Operator: Please spell out the letters comprising the name a letter at a time and citing a word for each letter.

Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenchu. Da name of Elpidio Abanquel is Elpidio Abanquel. I
will spell his name foneticali, Elpidio: E as in Elpidio, L as in Lpidio, p as in Pidio, i as inIidio, d as in Dio, i as inIio, and o as in O.

Operator: Sir, can you please use English words.
Pinoy: Ah, yes, tenchu. Abanquel: A as in Airport , B as in Because, A
as in airport agen, N as in enemy, Q as in Cuba, U as in Europe, E as in important, and L as in elephant.

This is a Filipino in an American coffee shop:

Waiter: What kind of coffee would you like, regular or decaf?
Pinoy: No, Big cup!! Big cup!
Waiter: What would you like for your breakfast?
Pinoy: Hameneggs.
Waiter: And how do you like your eggs, sir?
Pinoy: Yes, tenkyu. I like dem beri much.
Waiter: No sir, I mean how would you like them cooked?
Pinoy: Yes, tenchu. I wud like dem cooked.
Waiter: (with increasing impatience) Would you like your eggs...fried? poached? hard boiled or soft boiled?
Pinoy: (with increasing uneasiness) Yes, one fried en one hard boiled or sop boiled.
Waiter: And what bread would you like?
Pinoy: Begyurpardon?
Waiter: What kind of bread would you like? white? rye? Whole? wheat? toast?
Pinoy: Pan Americano
Waiter: We don't have that.
Pinoy: Okey, gib me taystee.
Waiter: We don't have that either, sir.
Pinoy: Do you heb pan de lemon or bonete?
Waiter: Sir, you are wasting my time. I shall ask for the last
time, what would you like for breakfast?
Pinoy: (With sense of hopelessness and betrayal!) Donut plis....

A Filipino in a bar…

A Filipino, a Black man, and a White guy are in a bar having a drink.
When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, "Whoever can use
the words 'liver' and 'cheese' in a creative sentence can have me for
tonight."
So the White guy says "I love liver and cheese."
She says "That's not good enough"
The Black man says "I hate liver and cheese"
She says "That's not creative"
Finally, the Filipino says "Liver alone, cheese mine!"


Lastly, it,s Lola,s turn…

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end and put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely she is, after all, over 80 years of age, but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.

The pharmacist fainted.

[benchgal]

kakalokang pinoy...iloveu pinoy :lool:

[krayzie03]

ang kuleet nung last..

[~bluesmine~]

wahahahaha...ang cute

[jhared]

ganyan talaga ang mga pinoy....
hehehe !!!
walang katulad tayo....

[pocahonta]

number one ang pinoy sa Kalokohan.......hehehe...

[shawty24]

naka2l0ka nmn c l0la...
ang ku2lit nmn ng mga pin0y...

[jhared]

im proud to be pinoy!!!....

[shawty24]

we are all pr0ud t0 be 0ne...

[jhared]

yahh... right