HARD TO LEAVE

[xTaiNd]

tomorow, i will be leaving home.. not just an ordinary day, but i will be away for a long time. i will leave friends behind, my mom, my sister, and the one that's very close to my heart, God's gift; CLA Dagupan Family...

pasaway ako, pero gusto ko pa magpatuloy sa walk ko kay Lord. why should i leave if i have the most wonderful potential job; serving God with all of your might..

there are some reasons i don't understand why am i leaving. i will leave because i was hired at a call center in ortigas. i have wondered of things i can get from the money i will earn, like putting up my own business, buying a guitar, buying gadgets and some personal things.. but one thing is for sure, i have put in my heart that i won't earn money primarily just for my self.. that even affects how my mom and dad are thinking about my faith..

it's hard to leave.

plus i am pressured by how much anxiety and excitement my parents are displaying; such as, they are worried about the clothes i will bring.. the things i will do.. the things i should not do.. my things.. whereas, without speaking, i know what should i do with God's help.

i know i have been alone, and i know how to survive by myself in my own way; but i admit, it's hard when people get to judge you for what you do is not the same with them.
i am telling this, maybe, because i am not that yet humble enough to live in harmony with the people around me. how can i learn? may God alone help me.

this decision, is one of the many things i have put in mind since the last days of my college. i know i can survive just in the subsidy rate of 3k-5k, but i admit you have to have more than what you have to help others as well as helping yourself.

i dont want to display myself as a charitable person, but i want to display myself as a person, willing to give anything necessary as a form of help.

it's hard to leave, because i will miss my hometown.. the memories of happiness.. the blessings i recieved.

it's hard to leave...
but to be better, you just have to face new challenges.

the same is true to faith. if you can't accept the challenge, you can't have faith.

i pray to God, to guide me, and protect me whether i am willing or not of His Divine Help.

i pray to God, He take care of the Dagupan Church of CLA, and their loved ones.

i pray that i will obey God, with all of my heart. because this is a vow i made with Him, when i was lost.

another thing i realize, no matter where you go, you can serve God.

"Lord help me. it's hard to leave but i have to. i shall return to my homeland after i have enough to give grandly to you; in Jesus' name."